RAT BUCKET™ — All 47 Features

The 47 Features of Rat Bucket™

Following eleven years of research, three independent market studies, seventeen focus groups, and a volume of internal meetings that Whit Corp’s HR department describes as “probably excessive in retrospect,” Whit Corp’s APCD is proud to present the complete feature set of the RAT BUCKET™.

All features are patented, trademarked, or claimed under intellectual property frameworks that Whit Corp’s legal team describes as “creative but defensible.”

Containment & Structure

1. RodentSafe™ Polymer Construction The Rat Bucket™ is manufactured from high-density polyethylene — a durable, food-grade plastic used in countless applications worldwide. Whit Corp has branded this “RodentSafe™” and filed a patent based on its “intended occupancy designation,” which distinguishes it legally from all other identical buckets on the market.

2. QuantumCapacity™ Interior Volume Holds approximately five gallons of rats, or equivalent rodents, or non-biological materials at the user’s discretion. The word “Quantum” was added during a rebranding meeting in 1997. It does not carry a specific technical meaning in this context. Whit Corp’s legal team has reviewed this and considers it “probably fine.”

3. CircularFormFactor™ Geometry The Rat Bucket™ is round. This was a deliberate design choice made after extensive deliberation and the formal rejection of seventeen alternative shapes, including an oval variant designated the “Rat Oval™,” which was shelved following inconclusive focus group data regarding “oval comfort.”

4. TrueBottom™ Base Integrity The bottom of the Rat Bucket™ is flat and solid, enabling stable placement on flat surfaces. Whit Corp’s Structural Integrity Assessment Team confirmed: “It does not tip over, mostly.” The word “mostly” was removed from all marketing materials at Legal’s recommendation.

5. UltraWall™ Sidewall Construction The sides of the Rat Bucket™ are walls. They maintain interior contents within the bucket and the exterior environment outside the bucket. This is, Whit Corp acknowledges, a fundamental property of the concept of a “bucket.” It is nonetheless patented.

6. LifetimeWash™ Hygienic Surface The interior surface of the Rat Bucket™ can be cleaned with water. Soap has also been found to be effective. Whit Corp’s Hygiene Innovation Team spent fourteen months documenting this. The report is 340 pages. It is available upon request. No one has requested it.

7. TaperForm™ Trapezoid Profile The Rat Bucket™ is slightly wider at the top than at the bottom, enabling vertical stacking. This is called a “taper” and is standard bucket geometry. Whit Corp has coined the term “TaperForm™” and is pursuing trademark registration. The USPTO has asked for clarification. We have provided clarification. They have asked for more clarification.

8. ColorFast™ Chromatic Stability The orange color of the Rat Bucket™ does not wash off. Whit Corp tested this for eight months. The color did not wash off. The bucket is still orange. This is Feature 8.

Lid & Closure System

9. SnapLock™ Closure Mechanism The lid affixes to the bucket with an audible click. (See Patent No. WC-1997-SND-002: “Satisfactory Closure Confirmation Event, Snap Variant.”) Whit Corp’s Closure Solutions Division spent eleven months assessing the click before deeming it “satisfactory.” Two engineers resigned during this process. Their reasons were unrelated, but the timing is noted.

10. BreathEasy™ Ventilation Technology There are holes in the lid. Fourteen of them, arranged in a circular pattern. Whit Corp’s Ventilation Science Team spent eighteen months optimizing their placement. An independent reviewer described the arrangement as “just holes, in a circle.” The Ventilation Science Team disputes this characterization in a 22-page rebuttal available in the Whit Corp internal document repository.

11. RemoveReplace™ Lid Reversibility The lid can be removed and replaced. This can be done repeatedly, in sequence, as many times as the user wishes, indefinitely. Whit Corp does not believe this requires further elaboration but has elaborated anyway, here, in Feature 11.

12. RimSeal™ Perimeter Contact System When the lid is placed on the bucket, its rim makes contact with the bucket’s rim around the full circumference, creating an enclosure. This is what happens when you put a lid on something. It is, nonetheless, Feature 12.

13. TranslucentView™ Opacity Management (Pro Model Only) The Pro Model features a slightly translucent lid, enabling partial visual confirmation of bucket contents without requiring full lid removal. This feature costs an additional $5.00. Several users have noted that they could simply “open the lid and look.” Whit Corp acknowledges this perspective.

14. LidRetain™ Anti-Loss Geometry The lid, when not affixed to the bucket, is large enough that it cannot fall through the bucket opening. This prevents the lid from being lost inside the bucket. Whit Corp is the first company to describe this as a feature. We are not sure why no one else did.

Transport & Handling

15. ErgoGrip™ Handle System A handle. It is arched. It is attached at two points on the upper rim of the bucket. It enables carrying. (See Patent No. WC-1997-HND-004: “Arched Lateral Conveyance Implement.”)

16. SwingArc™ Handle Mobility The handle articulates. It swings from upright (carrying position) to horizontal (storage or resting position). This took eleven months to finalize. Whit Corp’s engineering team evaluated thirty-seven hinge configurations. The one selected is the standard one.

17. TwoPoint™ Attachment Architecture The handle is attached to the bucket at exactly two separate points. One attachment point was considered (unstable). Three was explored (confusing). Two was determined to be optimal. This determination took four months.

18. GraspWidth™ Handle Diameter The handle is sized to accommodate an average adult human hand in a comfortable gripping posture. Forty-three adults participated in grip testing across fourteen diameter variants. The most comfortable option was, as it turned out, the one that came first.

19. FlatRest™ Handle Storage Position When not in use, the handle lies flat against the side of the bucket. This prevents the handle from protruding upward unnecessarily. Whit Corp’s Space Efficiency Subcommittee spent three meetings on this. Three.

Branding & Identity

20. ChromaSignature™ Exterior Colorway The Rat Bucket™ is orange. Specifically, Whit Corp Orange™ (Pantone 1655 C, Patent Pending since 1998). Whit Corp’s legal team is still pursuing the color patent. The USPTO remains skeptical. Whit Corp remains committed.

21. LogoPresence™ Brand Affirmation The Whit Corp logo and RAT BUCKET™ wordmark are embossed on the exterior of the bucket, confirming to all observers that this is a Rat Bucket™ and not a different, unbranded bucket of equivalent function.

22. TrademarkSymbol™ ™ Presence The trademark symbol (™) appears after “RAT BUCKET” on all product surfaces, documentation, advertising, and verbal communication. Whit Corp employees are, per their contracts, required to verbalize the symbol when referencing the product. This has caused some difficulty in casual conversation. HR is aware.

Safety & Compliance

23–31. (Detailed in Whit Corp Regulatory Compliance Document WC-RB-RC-1998-REV-9. Available upon request, subject to review, $12 processing fee, allow 6–8 weeks for document delivery.)

Advanced Features

32–47. (Detailed in the Rat Bucket™ Technical Reference Manual, Document WC-RB-TRM-1998-REV-12. Available upon request, subject to NDA and a one-time access fee of $15. Allow 8–12 weeks. The document is 847 pages. Whit Corp recommends requesting only the executive summary, which is 94 pages.)

Specifications

Specifications subject to change. Current specifications have not changed since 1998. Whit Corp reserves the right to change them anyway.